


Of insecurities and set ups

by dragonesdepapel



Series: Smoke and Mirrors [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, adrien knows marinette has a crush on him, and by stuff i mean each other but of course they don't know that, she knows he has a crush on someone else, they talk about stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 16:34:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6573760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonesdepapel/pseuds/dragonesdepapel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Don’t you think that maybe that’s what love is all about? Loving a person in all their expressions, in every facet of their being?” </p>
<p>“You are such a dork” she said, stifling a laugh. And maybe swooning a little, but he didn’t need to know that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of insecurities and set ups

It was the third time. Not the third time since the beginning of everything, just the third time _that week_ that Alya and Nino had backed out of their lunch plans at the last minute. In hindsight, it was really obvious that this had been going on for a few weeks now.

She couldn’t believe how naïve she had been. She had bought every excuse. Most importantly, she couldn’t believe the nerve of her best friend. No, scratch that, she could, and that was why she should have seen this coming.

Marinette had told Alya, repeatedly, that nothing was going to happen between Adrien and her. She didn’t give her all the details, she wouldn’t betray Adrien’s trust like that, not even to her best friend, but she had said enough. He liked another girl and it didn’t look like that was going to change any time soon.

Alya had promised to stop all the scheming that Marinette _knew_ had started when the girls had gotten closer to the blond. And she had seemed to be making good on her promise. So Marinette had never questioned it when the blogger told her that she wanted to spend some time alone with Nino, or when they declared that they would skip lunch to revise for the test they had on the next period. Her best friend had been feeding her excuses for weeks and Marinette had believed every single one of them, but it had come to an end.

But was she supposed to do? Demand that they both joined them for lunch? Knowing her best friend, she was prepared for any and every argument that Marinette could make. She resigned herself to smile understandingly and accept today’s story. She would figure out what to do about it later.

Adrien assured them that it was fine and that they would meet them before their next class. They waved goodbye to the couple as they started walking down the school’s stairs.

“I’m sorry about that” Marinette said once they were far enough from the school and they had decided where they wanted to go.

“About what?” asked the blond, puzzled.

“Alya. She’s… she’s trying to set us up or something. I told her that you weren’t interested and she promised to back off but…”

“Oh” he said, and Marinette resisted the urge to giggle at his perplexed expression. “So she was lying about her mother making her lunch?”

“Of course not. She would never tell a story that doesn’t check out.”

“How long has this been going on?” He was curious. Marinette told him that their friend had been manipulating them for weeks and Adrien was curious. Judging by his tone, he probably found it amusing.

“I don’t know, I just figured it out. But we’ve been having lunch alone twice a week for at least a month.”

“That’s a lot of excuses.”

“I’m sorry” she repeated. “I’ll get her to stop.”

“Marinette, it’s fine, I don’t mind. And it makes her happy, doesn’t it? She thinks that she’s doing something nice for you” he looked at her, seeking confirmation. Marinette nodded.

“But you shouldn’t put up with it just because of that!”

“I’m not putting up with anything. All she is doing is getting me to hang out with my friend. She’s not hurting anyone. And if her dedication until this point is anything to go by, she’ll probably find another way to do it, right?” he reasoned. “Unless…” he hesitated. “If it makes you uncomfortable you should tell her to stop.”

“Of course I’m not uncomfortable Adrien, how many times do I have to remind you?” she huffed, impatient. “I’m the one who should worry about making _you_ uncomfortable.”

“Of course I’m not uncomfortable” he echoed jokingly. “Why would I? I love spending time with you. Even if it’s orchestrated by our very obstinate friend.”

Marinette had gotten pretty good at holding herself together in front of Adrien. But there were times when he said things like that and smiled at her with so much warmth that made it hard for her to keep her cool. She smiled back at him and averted her gaze, waiting for the blush on her cheeks to die out and for her heart to calm down.

Adrien didn’t seem to notice it. He usually had trouble concentrating just before lunch. Which was good for her because it was taking her a little more than usual to recover. But _Adrien had said that_ _he loved spending time with her_ so she thought it was understandable. It was not the first time that he had said something like that but still, it was nice to hear it. She loved spending time with him too.

She was _so_ grateful for being able to be his friend. It was a common thought for her but she had never told him directly. She knew what his response would be. He would think that she didn’t need to thank him. Because he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand exactly how happy he made her or how selfless he had been for letting her be a part of his life.

He could have said no, all those weeks ago when she had confessed to having a crush on him and asked if it was still ok for her to be his friend. She wouldn’t have judged him. She knew that Alya would, for example, but really, it would have been understandable. Being friends with someone you knew had feelings for you could be very awkward. Marinette knew it all about awkwardness and she hadn’t wished to put Adrien in that position. But Adrien, kind Adrien, wouldn’t have said no for something so selfish.

It had been tricky, the first days after that. Adrien had been painfully unsure of himself, calculating his every move so he wouldn’t cross whatever imaginary limit he thought she could handle. She had ignored his hesitance and acted like everything was as it always had been. It took a while but in the end he understood that she wouldn’t break at the slightest mistake.

Looking back on it now, she realized that it was the same thing he had done for her at the beginning of their friendship. She had been the unsure one, her feelings for him making her nervous and uncertain of how to act around him. But he had never let it faze him. He had been patient with her until she had learned to treat him like any other person.

There were no traces of all those insecurities now. Well, almost. Marinette couldn’t really get rid of _all_ of her insecurities. But the point was that they were comfortable with each other. They had made themselves a constant presence in each other’s life.

Being honest about her feelings had been the best thing she could have done. They would have never been as close as they were now if she hadn’t. For starters, she would have felt guilty for keeping it from him. That was what had driven to confess in the first place, she didn’t think that it was fair to keep him in the dark. But she would have never imagined that her confession would allow them to be so open with each other.

It wasn’t always easy though. Marinette wasn’t the best at disciplining her thoughts, and sometimes she couldn’t help but remember that she would never be good enough. Because, how was she going to compete? Adrien talked about her crush with outright adoration. He used words like _amazing_ and _great._ Marinette wasn’t amazing and she wasn’t great, and she would never be without help from a pair of magical earrings and her kwami. But that was not even the worst part.

Because this girl made Adrien feel comfortable and safe enough to behave however he wanted to, without caring about what his proper father might think. And Marinette _was_ happy that he had someone like that in his life. She was thankful that he got to be himself, the real him, even if it wasn’t around her. But it hurt to know that she would never be able to make him as happy as he made her.

She tried not to think like that. She knew that Adrien wouldn’t like that. She knew that it wasn’t a competition. She knew that friendships were just as important as romantic love. She knew, so she refused to let her issues ruin her time with Adrien.

The restaurant was a bit fancier than what Marinette would choose for a weekday lunch, but it was one of Adrien’s favorites so they were there often. She didn’t complain though, the food was absolutely delicious. Especially the desserts, though they usually didn’t have enough time to order them.

Despite that, Marinette suspected they were getting some kind of special treatment. Their food always seemed to get to their table before it did to the ones near them, no matter if they had been the last ones to arrive. She never brought it up, she wasn’t sure what Adrien’s reaction would be if he wasn’t aware of it already.

“I’ve been thinking…” he started once they were seated and waiting for their food to arrive.

“Well, there’s a first time for everything” she deadpanned.

“…about what you said the other day and I think you were right” he continued, ignoring her. “I know that you couldn’t tell because you don’t know her but I do. I think that she must think that all I like about her is the front she puts up around people.”

He got interrupted when the waiter approached them with their drinks. Marinette didn’t need to ask who he was talking about. She had gotten used to Adrien talking about the girl he had a crush on without actually using her name. She had never questioned it because, really, what was the use? Whatever the reason was, it was fine by her. It was actually pretty useful because it allowed her to talk about Chat without giving any names either. Of course she could have given him a fake one but she preferred to avoid lies as much as possible when she had the choice.

“And I also think that it might be partly my fault.”

“Wait, what?” she asked, incredulous.

“Just listen, ok?” he said quickly. “I promise that I don’t need the ‘stop blaming yourself for everything’ speech again.”

“Ok” she said, unconvinced.

“You know how you said that you acted around your friend? Well, she has to do the same thing. It’s kind of her job. A lot of people are counting on her” Adrien looked at Marinette and waited until she nodded to know that she was following him. “And I know it. I’ve always known that she’s partially playing a part. I do that too. But I think I’ve been so focused on all the great stuff about her that I forgot that underneath all that confidence there’s still a regular girl.”

“I get it, when someone puts so much effort on maintaining a cover you sometimes forget it is a cover.”

It had taken her a while to figure out Chat, to understand which one of his smirks were born out of genuine joy and which ones were trying to cover something else up. Even now, she sometimes caught herself thinking that he seemed to have it so easy. But she knew better. She still didn’t know what hid behind the cat’s long silences and the occasional forced jokes, but she knew that there was _something_.

“Exactly. I’m not saying that she’s not amazing because she is, but maybe I’ve been taking it for granted. It’s not easy, doing what she does. And it’s not easy keeping yourself together like that, having everyone depend on you. And I’ve been so caught up in her that I’ve forgotten to let her know that she doesn’t have to pretend with me.”

“So you have never told her that it’s ok for her to relax around you once in a while?”

“I have, a few times. But she always refuses.”

“And do you think that you have ever made her feel like she wouldn’t be safe letting her guard down around you?”

“I don’t think so…” he trailed off, most likely trying to remember an occasion in which he could have unintentionally made the girl uncomfortable. As if he could ever.

“Then I still fail to see how any of this could be your fault Adrien” she said, crossing her arms.

“Because I should have done better! She’s one of my best friends and she doesn’t think that she can trust me.”

“It’s not that easy and you know it!” she accused. “Whatever her reasons are I’m sure they have nothing to do with you.”

“But what if it _is_ about me? What if she doesn’t want me to know her? What if she doesn’t want to know me?” His even tone let her know that this was something that he had spent quite some time thinking about.

“She’s your friend, why wouldn’t she want to know you?”

“She could be disappointed. She might not like this Adrien, the quiet one that always does everything that’s expected of him” he said and Marinette did her best to conceal exactly how much that answer broke her heart.

“Adrien Agreste, you stop this nonsense right now. Do you even listen to me? You are an amazing person, your friends love you and this girl _already_ is your friend so why would she magically stop liking you just because you acted a little different? Do you really think that she’d be so shallow?”

He gave her a tight smile and took a sip of his drink in the most obvious attempt at avoiding answering that she had ever seen him try. Since encouragement and common sense didn’t seem to be making a difference, she decided to try a different approach.

“Besides, you are rich, hot and I’m pretty sure you are hiding a six pack under that shirt so I can’t really picture a scenario where she’d be disappointed.”

The joke earned her a chuckle, but she knew that it wasn’t enough. She didn’t want to play her next card but she didn’t see any other option.

“Don’t take this too seriously because, as I said before, I don’t know this girl so I probably shouldn’t be talking about her in the first place, but to me it sounds like she is the one who thinks that you will be disappointed.”

She did believe what she said, but still, it didn’t feel right saying it. She could be projecting her own issues on this unnamed girl and that wouldn’t be fair. But Adrien was still looking down and Marinette would do anything in her power to get him to snap out of it.

“Why?” he asked, confused.

“You say that you are pretty sure that she thinks that you wouldn’t like her as much if she showed this other side of herself. And she doesn’t want to show it even if you suggested it a few times. I could be wrong but it seems like maybe she’s the one with the insecurities. Well, the other one with the insecurities.”

“No, she couldn’t possibly think that. I mean…” he trailed off when they brought their food to the table.

Marinette avoided his gaze while the waiter set down their plates so she didn’t see his expression go from pensiveness to realization. “That’s it, right?”

Marinette started feeling guilty. This was wrong. She didn’t know this girl, had never seen her or spoken to her. All she had was Adrien’s descriptions of her and that wasn’t enough to be making assumptions about her. It wasn’t only rude, but it could also damage Adrien’s relationship with her. She couldn’t fill his head with her less than objective ideas.

“I don’t actually know what I’m talking about so…” she tried to backtrack, keeping her eyes fixed on her food.

“Marinette, you based that assumption on things that _I_ said. On things that I _know_. I practically spelled it out for you. I should have seen it sooner.”

“Sometimes we need someone else to help us clear the mess in our heads” she replied, not wanting him to notice that something was off.

She risked looking up to offer him a smile, but it was a mistake. He was looking at her with the same warmth he had showed earlier and it forced her to avoid his gaze again. She didn’t deserve it this time.

“I can’t thank you enough for this Marinette, I know it can’t be easy for you. I never realized how much I needed someone to talk about all this stuff before, you know?”

“You are making it sound like I don’t get anything out of this conversations. I’m happy to have someone to go over all this too. And that’s what friends are for, remember?”

He was smiling at her, she could tell, even if she was still pretending to be occupied with cutting her meat. He didn’t say anything else after that and she let him focus on his food for a while. It gave her time to try to put her guilt away. Adrien had said it himself, she hadn’t said anything that he didn’t already know. And, in any case, she couldn’t take it back now, so there was no use in letting it spoil her lunch.

A thought occurred to her, something she had thought of asking earlier, but then decided that it was better if she didn’t. But there wasn’t really a reason why she shouldn’t. Wasn’t she the one always telling Adrien that it was ok to open up to your friends?

“So do you really think that you’d like her as much as you do now if she dropped that act she has going on?”

“Of course” he replied without hesitation.

“How can you be so sure?” she pressed.

“I just am.”

“But you can’t! You don’t know the things that you don’t know so you can’t be sure you’ll like them once you do know.”

She realized she was rambling. And making big hand gestures while holding a fork, which wasn’t the smartest thing for her to do. Adrien waited until he finished chewing to answer, looking like he was picking his next words carefully.

“I might not know every little thing about her but I know enough. I know that she’s smart, creative and resourceful. I know she’s kind, caring and compassionate. I know she’s brave and strong, at least when she needs to be. I’m sure those things won’t go away the second her job is done and she goes back to her everyday life.”

“I’m not saying that you’ll hate her, just that maybe your feelings wouldn’t be the same. If she _is_ scared she must have a reason, right?”

Adrien sighed and set down his cutlery.

“You realize that we had this exact same conversation two minutes ago, right?”

“No, we didn’t. This is different” she insisted.

“Why? Because that was about my friend liking me and this is about yours liking you?” he said sternly. It was not a common tone for Adrien, and Marinette found that she didn’t quite like it. Not when it was directed at her, at least.

She took a deliberate sip of her drink, much like he had done earlier, to let him know that she wasn’t going to grace that with an answer.

“I guess that means that everything you said before was a lie” Adrien sighed again, more theatrically this time.

“Wait, no.”

“All that talk about my friend liking me already… you don’t really think that she’ll like me like this” he continued, putting on a pained expression. Some part of her brain absently registered that he had used that exact same expression for an ad campaign not too long ago.

“This is really unfair Adrien, you know that’s not true.”

“I’m not sure I do. It looks like you didn’t believe a word of it.”

“This is low even for you” she said, refusing to give in.

“Not as low as my self-esteem is right now” he said, pouting. He actually pouted at that. She couldn’t believe it.

“You are ridiculous.”

She glared at him and crossed her arms. He looked down, the pout still firmly in place. And Marinette knew that it was all an act, she really did. But still, she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Ok! You are right. The situations are a bit alike and I should believe in the advice I gave you because it’s good advice and I deserve it as much as you or whatever. Happy now?”

“Ecstatic” he smiled.

“I hate you.”

His smile grew into a smirk and she resisted the urge to throw her fork at him. She continued to eat her lunch in silence, irritated at having had to back down. The smug attitude he adopted didn’t exactly help. She supposed she deserved it, she didn’t let him win many arguments. It didn’t make her feel better.

But Marinette was not made hold a grudge for too long, so she quickly let it drop. Adrien seemed to be aware of her change of mood the second it happened because he instantly resumed the conversation.

“But seriously,” he said, like it hadn’t been several minutes since their last words, “don’t you think that maybe that’s what love is all about? Loving a person in all their expressions, in every facet of their being?”

“You are such a dork” she said, stifling a laugh. And maybe swooning a little, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Would it kill you to take me seriously for a once?”

“Hey it’s not my fault if you are the cheesiest person on this planet.”

He balled up his napkin and threw it at her. She caught it in the air and was only mildly surprised when she didn’t knock over her glass in the process.

“I don’t know Adrien, it sounds too easy” she said, amused smile still on her face.

“We are teenagers Marinette. Aren’t we supposed to have idealized ideas about love?” he teased.

“No, not love in general” she corrected. “That loving _her_ is easy.”

“It is” he said after a pause. “And that’s not me being cheesy. That’s me stating a fact. Everyone loves her.”

“That sounds exhausting” she frowned.

“I’m sure she would agree with you” he said with a smile. “Could you…?” he gestured to the napkin that was still in her grasp.

She apologized and gave it back to him.

“Are you done?” he asked and she nodded. She saw him looking at the clock at the side of the room before signaling the waiter to bring their check.

“Whose turn is it?” he asked, like he didn’t know perfectly well that it was hers. If anyone was prone to forget, it was Marinette, and she knew that he hoped that she would.

“Mine, you got it last time.”

Because the restaurant was not only fancy, it was also a bit expensive. Not ridiculously so, but enough for it to make a difference in her budget if she went there too often. Which she did, because it was Adrien’s favorite. So they had an arrangement. They took turns paying for her check. To be honest, the only reason she had agreed was because it made Adrien happy, or at least it prevented him from worrying too much. Little did she know it was the same reason that made him agree too.

Once the check was taken care of, they gathered their things and stood, making their way outside.

“So you said that Alya doesn’t tell stories that don’t check out, and we both know that she’s a great liar” Adrien started as he held open the door for her. “But I think I know someone else who is in on the secret and is _terrible_ at keeping them.”

“I thought you said you didn’t mind.”

“And I don’t, but I can’t just not take this chance to tease Nino. Just picture him desperately trying to keep up the ruse so Alya won’t murder him” he said as they started walking towards the school.

“You are spending far too much time with Alya, she’s a bad influence on you.”

“I’m the victim here Marinette. Nino’s the one who’s always teasing me. This would only put as even.”

Marinette rolled her eyes at his dramatics but agreed.

“Ok, I’ll distract Alya so she doesn’t get too suspicious.”

**Author's Note:**

> Still not reveal, but I promise it's coming. As always, any constructive criticism is really appreciated.


End file.
